Trauma Bay

Part of my current responsibilities as chaplain is to participate twice a month in FST {Family Support Team}. Between 9 am and 3 pm, we take over the FST phone from the Crisis Intervention Unit (who manages this ministry for the rest of the time, including overnight) and enter the world of the emergency department for six hours of immediate response - when needed.

Though in our rotation, we only cover it every other week, to me it always feels that these days have arrived too soon. And I always have butterflies in my stomach when I begin my shift, wondering what today would bring. Am I going to have some tough cases? Am I going to have to make that difficult phone call, letting family or friends know that their loved one is in the ER, and handling the whole process of reuniting them at times of unexpected tragedies and crisis situations?

Well, as you can imagine, every day is different. Some shifts are quieter, some others require that I run between several families at a time, patients’ rooms, CT scans, Heart and Vascular Waiting room, Cath lab, family consult rooms, and sometimes the death on arrival room.

Our job as Family Support is to respond to the trauma, heart, and stroke alerts or codes coming in through the emergency department, and any CPR occurring in the ED. When a call of this nature is announced overhead or on our pagers, we know the route to take. Wherever we may be, whatever we may be doing, we leave that in an instant and show up at the location announced as soon as possible.

Traumas are probably the most frequent calls to the ED. As we arrive to the bay, we scan our badge on the monitor outside of the room, and then proceed to fill in our spot in the team that gathers together in expectance of the arriving patient. Moments like these have often made for some good reflection. Though most of the trauma staff seems quite familiar with the routine, and sometimes even exchange jokes while they wait for their new case, there is almost always a feeling around this gathering that stirs my respect.

Imagine 10 people or more, each one knowing their spot, holding their ground as the ambulance makes its way to the hospital. They are all there before the patient arrives - ready to tend in whatever way they can, and they keep preparing as they receive updates from the EMT.

At times I notice some of them pacing themselves between the bed and the door open into the hallway, to check if the patient is almost here. Every one of them is indispensable, and every one of them is ready for their role to be played out in the coming trauma.

I have described this experience from a corner, because I have tasted it as such - probably because I needed to ‘step back” and learn what I had to learn from this. I wanted to experience the feeling from a more obscured place for a while. And yet, I am part of this team. I have my spot on the chart, and I take it with fear, courage, pride, and humility. I am also here to help, and, though timid at times, I take this role seriously. Connecting people with their loved ones, and being a comforting presence in the midst of chaos, anxiety, and uncertainty is …serious stuff. Always a privilege. Always a blessing.

So, as I was saying, observing the setting and feeling with the rest of the team made me think about realities less often as visible as this one, yet as real as those our eyes and ears witness. They made me think of God and His angels, and how they are always ready to care for us.

God is always in expectance when a tragedy crosses our path. He is never taken by surprise. And His team is ready to tend to His beloved children: like the doctor in the trauma bay, like the EMT transporting the wounded person, like the nurse who documents everything that happens, God and His team are already there when we have suffered a trauma. They are ready. And even though healing may not come as we expect it, the truth is that God always responds to such calls.

Sometimes we, or a loved one, may not survive; sometimes we may, but remain crippled; and sometimes we see the light soon enough. In either case, God is ready to care for us in our brokenness, to heal our wounds, and to remind us that love is worth fighting for. That in the twinkling of an earthly life we may catch a glimpse of an eternity in His presence; that love will eventually win, and that every step in our limping walk, as painful and lonely as it may be at times, is worth such eternity.

I have also learned that much of what a patient undergoes happens behind the scenes. At times, he/she may not even be fully aware arriving into the hospital. Yet the reality stands that a team of professionals has been there before his arrival, ready to take charge.

The same with us and God. Sometimes we may be completely unaware that someone is in charge. When we fall into the traps of life and experience something hurtful and dramatic, we may be blind to the fact that God is still in control. Yet the truth remains unmoved by our incapacity to sense it.

Though we may forget for a moment, though we may doubt for a while, or confess our uncertainty in things less tangible and too complex, or whether we do maintain our trust and commitment, GOD IS THERE before we arrive at the impasse. GOD IS READY before we know the outcome. And GOD IS NEVER TAKEN BY SURPRISE. He never fails to show up, is never late, and always brings the best He can out of any situation.

And don’t forget that, in His wonderful plan for us, He often uses people like you and me to tend for His children. A listening ear, a feeling of growing empathy, a crucial action, an immediate response despite our own cares, a gesture of kindness, a selfless aid, making someone feel valued, so many ways in which we are used to help deal with traumatic situations! Never underestimate yourself. God has you in His team!

And as you walk your own muddy and bumpy trail left by a trauma, remember what Jesus said in Isaiah 65:24: “Before you call, I will answer, and while you are still speaking I will hear.”

Adelina in Toyland :D

Well…I guess an adventure like that is hard to remember without also sharing! How how did I get there? And what was it like? This is what I’d like to tell if you just take a few minutes to sit back in your chair, and continue to read. (Just as long as you are not behind a steering wheel! :P)

Since my teenage years, almost every year around Christmas I sought to do something with those less fortunate than I considered myself. Whether with my local church youth, with colleagues and friends in college, or with missionary co-workers, we used to make packages and visit the orphans, the elderly, the sick, the lonely..

This year, though, I took a different direction.

I remember conversing one day with one of my patients about hurtful and tragic things that cross our paths. As she was sharing her story with me, one thing she said really touched me. “I asked two questions. I asked God: “Lord, why me?” And I also asked: “Lord, why not me?”

Her testimony really spoke to me, as she voiced a question I myself have probably asked more in the last few months than in all other years of my life so far: “Why not me?”

The last weeks brought my way more vividly the sad reality of homelessness. If there is something that I can’t imagine anyone would have to go through, that is homelessness. Not only it dispossesses you of a safe place to live, possibly warm too during the cold seasons – and of most of your belongings; it empties the self of much of the value it otherwise reflects the creation of God Himself. It voids you of confidence and feelings of self-worth and belonging, it denies you the ability to socialize with the rest of the society - keeping you away from many opportunities, it isolates you in a world of cruel uncertainty and desperate hopelessness.

Having had some recent encounters with people in such circumstances, the reality of what it is like was much closer to me than ever before.

So I decided that this year I will look into offering something to homeless people (which also made me be more grateful for the many blessings God has given me in life). Now, I must confess, getting in touch with the shelters in the area surprised me negatively with the fact that - especially during the cold season, many people actually do not find a bed available. Checking on their needs, I decided to try to make some packages for pregnant women and their coming babies. My roommate was interested in such projects too, so we decided that we would do something together.

Last Thursday, though, a thought came to my mind: What if I did something for some children that they would not typically get for Christmas? While I know that the basic needs are primary, I also know that these are most often targeted by agencies and other individuals. So, I thought: what is out there that would make them happy, that they may not usually receive?

Surely enough, being a lover of arts and performances, I cherished the direction of my thought. Even so: I would take them to the Children Theatre.  Said, and almost done. I called the theatre, and asked how much the ticket was and what shows they have running. Now…the tickets were, I confess, a bit more pricey than I had hoped. But I still wanted to do this. As an adult, I still remember with joy the few times when I attended stage performances – musicals, ballet, etc., and I figured the children might also like doing something different.

I had already called a few shelters, so I had a number of children in mind. Before I got off the phone with the theatre, I did (though a bit hesitant) ask if they would consider offering us a discount. Since the lady I spoke with was a bit reserved on that, I asked her if she would not mind letting the manager know about this project too.

About two hours later, I received a phone call from the theatre, and the same lady I’d spoken with told me in an exciting voice that the manager said she had just received a donation, and that she would like to use it for this project. “Really? Wow, that is awesome!!” I said. I had hoped for maybe a 10-15% discount. Instead, all the children could go in for free, as well as their parents, AND myself! How cool is that?? :D

Now I only had one more thing to arrange: the donation was to be used this week-end, because they were already sold out for the following week-end. And I was working this week-end. Well, I figured, I guess I don’t really have to be there myself, as long as the kids can go. I let the theatre know that this week-end might not work for me, but that my roommate might be able to guide the project. They said that would be okay too, although the manager had expressed the desire to meet me. I told them I would try to switch with someone at work, but because of the week-end schedule we have, I really did not think it would work. My roommate did agree to go if I couldn’t, but in the end it wasn’t necessary, as one of the two co-workers who could switch with me decided, to my big surprise, to do so (it actually worked better for her too – again, I guess it never hurts to ask!)

So, all in all, Sunday at 1:30 I was at the shelter to pick up a family. Though the theatre had reserved twenty-five seats for us, many of the children were younger than four, so they could not attend. But I was very excited to meet this mom and her two girls that wanted to go! The only less exciting part was driving into the city, which I kinda hate anyways, and so much more when I need to find a new place. But it worked okay, and we were in our seats two minutes before the play started. As you may have guessed by now, the play was “Babes in Toyland.” I just loved it. And the kids did too. And the mom did too.

I was glad to see them smile and laugh. The girls were about 4 and 5 I would say, and since one of them seemed to struggle to see well, I asked her is she wanted to sit on my lap. She agreed without hesitation, so I held her during the two hours full of music, magic, and fun!

At the end, they had a ticket drawing too. I thought it would be so fun if one of them won! So I was quite nervous myself! Well, and one of them did win – according to her mother (letter A was the winner), except, she had lost her ticket! Oh, what a disappointment! “Well,” I said, “it should be somewhere here. We only went to get some drinks and cookies during the intermission. I’ll try to find it.”

Surely enough, I found the A ticket on the steps, just entering the auditorium. Gladness. As the prizes were given out at the door for the children who had an A ticket, her sister, walking right behind her, handed out her ticket too, so she received a prize too before the guy got to look at her ticket (it was C :)P So they each received a free kids meal at some local restaurant.

As we started to drive back, I asked them if they were going to have dinner at the shelter, and the reply did not make me too happy, so I offered to take them somewhere. They mentioned McDonald’s, since it was very close to the shelter. I agreed for various reasons: I did not know the area too well - so I did not feel comfortable driving too far; they suggested it, and the girls were super excited. Now, I did feel some sort of remorse for getting them unhealthy food, but I figured it wasn’t the right time for those thoughts, especially with them chanting in the back of my car: “We’re-going-to-Mc-Donald’s, We’re-going-to-Mc-Donald’s!”

My drive back home was full of peace and joy. I think I will always remember them, and maybe one day we will get to meet again. I loved the adventure in all this, but so much more the feeling of making someone happy. In fact, I enjoyed it much more than I would have if it would have been just me, or myself and friends going to a performance. In fact, I even consider doing this again, and not necessarily for Christmas. So I am keeping my eyes open for something clean and fun that children could enjoy. And, yes, I confess, me too. :D